Term Limits

There are important terms I should ponder, as I wait! Some how feeling more than stripped naked in this grown that ties in the back; which manages to hide even less of my vulnerability than my dark humor that elicits the occasional nervous laugh. The terms for the day are squamous cell carcinoma, staging,radiation, chemo, inoperable and the crowd favorite ‘five year survival rate”.  These descriptions and predictions cannot hold my interest, my mind is occupied by a single word that is both wider in scope and deeply personal. They do however produce a kind of nervous boredom similar to the effect the ongoing delays have on the people around me. These serious terms speak the unchallenged language of science. While their necessity is undeniable, at this particular moment their objectivity strikes me as temporary and hollow. My word has an almost spiritual bent and I find that the solidity and permanence of it’s subjectivity addresses the essence of what it means to be human. The chatter in the hallway foretells the coming of the sandman to finally put me out. As he positions me for my ride, in a somewhat hoarse voice I speak the word ‘friend’. Thinking I am talking to him, he pats me on the head. In the quiet before his fairy dust works it’s magic, though miles away, I hear my friends voice and realize I will always hear his voice and know the peace of his wife’s heartfelt hug. It seems my beliefs contain science but is not bound by it; for how could it ever explain my friend and his wife.  Feeling both lucky and less, but not less than lucky, I smile and go to sleep.

Thankswade

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