Finding Humility

IMG_0260I woke this morning and wanted to scream, no, that is not really true, I wanted to cry like a little girl. My older sister tells me that girls cry when they are little and men cry when they’re old. Go figure, maybe girls cry thinking about how the world is going to treat them and men, not sure. Anyway, things have really changed a lot and are still changing. But I digress, I am not here to talk about women’s problems, I am here to talk about something far more important to me, my problems. Thanks in part to my pastor, Carl Butler, I realized I have in the past and still am to some degree, okay, maybe to a larger extent than I am comfortable mentioning here, or anywhere for that matter, selfish and lack patience.  What’s up with that, Pastor Carl? I don’t think you are ever going to get a big church if go around making people aware of their shortcomings. Shortcomings, I like that word. I am not wrong, I am just a little short of something good, but it is coming, except, that is just the way I am, so I wouldn’t hold my breath. Whether you are a true believer or not, there are some really beautiful concepts in the Bible, granted some concepts are misunderstood and even twisted for various reasons; but find out what it says about faith, hope, and love. Oh yea, it mentions humility, more than once. It seems to me humility is sorely lacking in the world today. If a person can only see themselves, to the exclusion of everyone else, they can do horrible things. Generally, we try to be aware of the common good or at least the people we care about, but we overestimate our importance. This causes us to become blind to how our actions affect other people. I never considered myself to selfish, only lack patience at times. There is a chance the two are linked in some areas. I have a habit of interrupting and not giving people a chance to finish their thought in conversation. It is not my fault of course, I do it only when the other person is slow or struggling to get their thought out, it saves everyone time that way. The only other times are if the other person is obviously misguided in their attempt at rational thought. Sometimes they don’t even know what they mean. So, I should be forgiven if I thought I was performing a public service. It has come to my attention however; other people have not appreciated my efforts. In fact, I have frustrated other people and caused them to doubt themselves, especially the ones I care the most about. Come to think about it, maybe that is why a professor in college told me toward the end of class told me, “No one will work with you. I told them it was a guaranteed A, but they said they no.” I never thought much of group projects, unless I could pick the people. But now it seems even those people are too sensitive. They don’t seem to realize that makes me feel bad.