Like most people I believe in accountability, especially other peoples. Ever noticed that Dems hold Republicans and Republicans hold Dems accountable for all “their” party’s actions. If you endorse somebody once does everything they do go on your account. If so, I am deeply concerned. It seems to me that just because you vote for someone doesn’t mean you wanted them to do stupid things. Your vote isn’t a blanket endorsement for everything they do or promote; at least it shouldn’t be. My thoughts today are preoccupied with accountability not politics.
You see I am struggling with the intersection of liability and children, one in particular. Sense I did a lot more than vote for my offspring, I assume I should have more culpability. Is that a forever thing? What about term limits? When do your children reach the age of accountability? Is there a starting and ending date? I never remember telling my children they’re not responsible for their actions. Neither do I know how to quit caring for them and feeling I could have done better. It occurs to me that accountability implies choice and control. Choice can be much more elusive than it first appears. When control is absent and influence waning your list of effective options is limited and just on a personal level. Society’s understanding of choice and control is constantly being revised.
There are more questions today about what we do control and how that impacts our choices than ever before. Damn the enlightenment! Do we need to answer those questions before we evaluate other people’s behavior, including our own? Most of us believe we have control over things we don’t and at same time fail to exercise the free will we have. I want to give my children joy, purpose and take away their pain. The child I am concern with at the present has chosen a path removed from my experience and to a degree understanding. That said, there are many things we share. I would like to tell them that I understand feeling isolated and filled with self-doubt. To make them understand that when hope is little more than a fading shadow, learn to wait. It will appear again. Mostly, know you are loved. I am sorry for the times when I could have done better. When the right words and actions I did not find, perhaps I did not look. To be an effective father and person I need to accept my faults and forgive them. Self-reproach only bares rotten fruit. My far too simple conclusion is FAT. 1. Forgiveness over blame 2. Acceptance over expectations 3. Treat yourself as you think you should treat others.